Since being told yesterday of the hole in Oli's heart, my own heart felt as if it were ripped out of my chest. Ventricular Septal Defect , it is called.
Having a mom who is adamant on the traditional practice of gelai she was thrilled to have "discovered" technology, or rather the practical use of it... having found a recipe for gelai rich foods, one of which is pigeon.
With news of the hole in Oli's heart still fresh, I accidentally uncover a small oval thing under the heap of bones and barely there meat... the pigeon's heart (game pigeons hence the title...) I normally don't get emotional over a dead pigeon, but this time around it was different. I started to think about the pigeon's mommy, and this being her baby, did she feel the same pain I felt when her baby was killed for food? I, being a carnivore predominantly, momentarily swore never to eat meat again... imagine getting emotional over my lunch. But luckily that moment was gone not soon after.
=============================================
Another blow. My brain feels like it wants to explode further.
Doctor Who updated us with the news today that our son might have porencephaly, a result of an MRI scan, my heart felt as if it were ripped out of my chest...again. and, heart still beating, squeezed out of its life.
oli we promise to protect you and raise you the best way we can but please be healthy and strong, all we wish and pray for is that you be able to live a healthy and normal life.
Still fresh from the fatigue and pain of childbirth and surgery, I didn't know how to go on anymore, each terrible news sucking what little life and energy and spirit there is in me...
No comments:
Post a Comment