That same day, I take 2 capsules of Fenugreek seeds. Twice.
Our son refused to suck and instead chose to continue on with his favorite pastime these past 60 hours, perfecting the art of slumber.
That evening, my breasts turned to a couple of hard rocks.
It was the most excruciating pain I have felt since last Thursday's anesthesia shot. This must be what it feels like to be punched by Pacquiao, except even the slightest touch would send my pain sensors in full swing. I considered gravity my enemy at that time...sitting or standing up, as long as I was in a vertical position, would send me wincing in pain. But it was nothing compared to the late night (or early morning, however you look at it) 2 am surprise visit from the...
Enter the Breast Milk Gestapo
Clad in white, and dark rimmed glasses, she had a stern presence and commanded attention from everyone in the room (that being, myself, my husband, and my mom. The cat has checked out and the human calculator has not checked in yet). Or perhaps the fact that she came in unannounced at 2 am, while we were deep in our sleep, and turned on all the lights and started speaking loudly and angrily, was what gave her such a commanding presence.
Either way, she announced: " What are you doing sleeping throughout the night?!? Why aren't you pumping? And you dare get formula milk from the nurse station?!? Look at you, your breasts are hard as a rock!"
(Proceeds to prod and poke my breasts unannounced, without warning, and sends sharp, painful pangs throughout my whole body, the MOST painful feeling I've gone through). The closest analogy I can think of is being punched in the breasts by Mike Tyson, or Manny Pacquiao. Or let's just call in a fictitious boxer, Rocky Balboa (what, you didn't know he didn't really exist? big "blow", huh? Pun intended.)
My boobs became public property from that day forward.
She commanded (yes, demanded if you want another term), my husband and mom to get to work massaging and pounding and pumping my twin rocks until they became soft, which didn't happen in the next 3 hours, but massage and knead they did, alternately, as we only had one manual breast pump at the time. They worked tirelessly from 3 am until sunrise, allowing me to squeal in pain and take breaks in-between tears of pain, in order to take another attempt at hobbling to the bathroom, only 2 days from my double surgery C-section.
I can boldly compare the pain to the pain of giving birth, without anesthetics. Scoff if you will...
Ultimately, the next morning, my mom dutifully went to the local bakery shop to buy some soft dough and cabbage. The gestapo lady was still on duty at 7 am, and she proceeded to march to my room and slapped the dough onto both my rock-hard breasts, leaving the center to peek out (for what reason, I'm not entirely sure as no one, nor anything can penetrate that thick dough fortress) that made my breasts resemble being wrapped in plaster.
Strange as it felt and even stranger the way it looked, after about 3 hours, I was told to remove them by washing them with warm running water. A load of sticky mess and 10 minutes later, I felt my breasts no longer in pain from engorgement. Alleluia! Thank God! That is also the last time I will let a stranger touch my boobs.
As for the cabbage, we were instructed to keep it chilled in the fridge and put it inbetween my brassiere and boobs to cool down the next engorgement episode. But the best prevention is to keep pumping, she said. As of writing, I can proudly say that I am all pumped up and this has thankfully not recurred.
The gestapo nurse's home remedies for engorged breasts:
A. Soft bread dough method
1. Buy soft bread dough from the local bakery (ask them nicely and try not to tell them the real reason why you are getting it otherwise they might give you a strange look)
2. Divide into two (for obvious reasons), and pat around firmly around each side, leaving the center to peek out for whatever reason.
3. Cover each side with cling wrap or a thin plastic film to prevent the dough from sticking to your clothes.
4. Wait for the dough to harden and dry*, then peel off and wash off excess residue with warm running water.
(*In my case it took me almost 4 hours for it to harden, though even then it did not completely harden as the though was rather thick on me.)
B. Chilled cabbage method
1. Buy cabbage heads from the market or nearby vegetable store.
2. Chill in the fridge
3. Insert in-between brassiere and breasts
Use any of these two simple techniques whenever you feel pain or harness, and couple with non-stop pumping and massaging until you feel them become soft.
Good luck!
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