Backne and the sweetest (not) husband ever

Sometimes, my husband can be quite...blunt.

For example, one of the nasty side effects of my pregnancy is that I have a terrible case of "backne*". I have never had any backne pre-pregnancy, but now they have happily formed little communities and constellations spanning my entire upper back (you'd think that they would at least be considerate enough to grow around my lower back area so as to be more discreet on the occasion that I wear low -back outfits, right???)

I suppose I have to be thankful overall, though, as I never experienced the even nastier side effect of vomiting, nausea or other similar symptoms of pregnancy.

*Backne- My coined word, short for "back acne"

I expressed my gratitude over the fact that my backne was not growing on my face. I then asked,

I: "Hun, if my backne were growing on my face, would you still love me?"

He: "Well, I would perhaps take more time getting to know you better..."

I: "...And if this occurred before we got married, would you still marry me?"

He: "I would find it more difficult to look at your face, and instead focus on your other body parts (looks at my chest)"

He then helpfully added, " if your backne would converge in a much smaller area such as your face, your face would then be a big boil..." (winces)

In times like these, I really feel 100% sure that I married the right man...