Stealth bombs, moms' stress and effects on the unborn baby

It is possible to experience joy in varying levels with anyone, friends, colleagues, and such. But when it comes to the opposite end of the emotion spectrum, no one can, in my experience, hurt me so much as from someone from my family. I will first explain that of my experience with friends, then with family.

Over the course of many years since I was 7 years old, I have learned the hard way that friends can come and go, and words like "You will be my best friend forever and forever in my whole life", may not be carved in stone. In my case, forever was merely about 4 years wherein I was forgotten and replaced with a new group of friends. This happened exactly 3 times. I have never allowed myself to be emotionally close nor dependent on anyone since then, that is, until I got married last year and can honestly say that I have found my best friend for life.

But I have taken it now with a grain of salt, and have accepted that this has shaped me to become who I am now, and though I look with yearning at friends who gather together with ties that remain strong through the years, there is nothing I can do about it, in my mind, it is better to let things be rather than beg like a poor man.

In the case of blood relations, it can be different. To some extent the expectations you have from your siblings tend to be slightly higher, and yet it is assumed that while respect should always be there, of course, the casual courtesy and words need not be always spoken, needs don't necessarily have to be verbalized. It is assumed that this bond between you that is supposedly thicker than water, would be enough to keep you close no matter the time and distance. This is not always the case though, and when we cannot always depend on our siblings for support, there is a natural and inadvertent "cooling off", though needless to say, the love is still there, at least on my part. As such, words can act like arrows that can shoot straight at the heart, and often this takes a bit more toll on the emotions of the inflicted than that from say, friends.

Allowing oneself to love and be loved makes the heart vulnerable to getting hurt as it is exposed out in the open, with the often mistaken assumption that we will be well taken cared of in our home turf, yet it is often the case that things can turn around just as quickly without a warning and drop a bomb into an otherwise peaceful existence.

Any kind of stress, be it physical or emotional, is never good for the expectant mom and her baby, especially, and it is best to keep a zen-like attitude whenever possible in order to prevent stress on the baby, which may cause pre-term delivery and possibly a host of other health problems after birth. Below is an excerpt from the www.webmd.com on fetal stress:

"Stress is a silent disease," says Dr. Calvin Hobel, director of maternal-fetal medicine at Cedars Sinai and a professor of obstetrics/gynecology and pediatrics at University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). Typically, one in 10 women delivers pre-term (before 37 weeks). According to studies by Dr. Pathik Wadhwa, assistant professor of behavioral science, obstetrics and gynecology at University of Kentucky College of Medicine: "When the mother is stressed, several biological changes occur, including elevation of stress hormones and increased likelihood of intrauterine infection," Dr. Wadhwa says. "The fetus builds itself permanently to deal with this kind of high-stress environment, and once it's born may be at greater risk for a whole bunch of stress-related pathologies."

Pre-term babies are susceptible to a range of complications later, including low birth weight, chronic lung disease, developmental delays, learning disorders and infant mortality. There is evidence from epidemiological studies and animal research that babies who experience stress in utero are more likely to develop chronic health problems as adults, such as heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes. Recent studies have likewise suggested that stress in the womb can affect a baby's temperament and neurobehavioral development. Infants whose mothers experienced high levels of stress while pregnant, particularly in the first trimester, show signs of more depression and irritability. In the womb, they also are slower to "habituate" or tune out repeated stimuli -- a skill that, in infants, is an important predictor of IQ.

"Who you are and what you're like when you're pregnant will affect who that baby is," says Janet DiPietro, a developmental psychologist at Johns Hopkins University. "Women's psychological functioning during pregnancy -- their anxiety level, stress, personality -- ultimately affects the temperament of their babies. It has to ... the baby is awash in all the chemicals produced by the mom."
If our unborn baby could talk to stressed-out moms, they would say " Mom, you're stressing me out!" You wouldn't want that to be your baby's first words, would you? Mental note to myself and a message to all moms, relax, and keep a positive attitude for the sake of your unborn child.

Hugs to all pregnant moms who are going through the same struggles. <3